Killer cyborg monkeys!!! October 14, 2003
Posted by Aaron in : World News , trackback“Monkeys? brains move robotic arms:
Research could help people with spinal cord injuries”
Or it could help monkeys rule the world, anyone remember a little movie called Planet of the Apes? or another one called Terminator?
I can just see it now, they’ve attached an arm and the monkey has learned to play a game… the world is torn between “awww isn’t that cute” and “whoa, way cool!” Next they fit a pair of legs to the monkey and it takes its first tottering steps… again, the world things it is cute and/or cool. Then mysteriously the monkeys mech appendages suddenly need the help of a fairly powerfull computer, which controls the high-power cutting lasers that the monkey use to cut through the “brush” in the “forest” with. Doesn’t anyone remember ‘If you give a moose a cookie’? or in this case, a cybornetic monkey a industrial cutting laser? Isn’t the imminent doom of that statement enough to startle us out of our lazy science-is-good mentality and make us realize that we ought to sack all of our scientists and stop using our brains at all? After all scientists brought us the marvelously unmotivating idea of the cold death of the universe, that simply stated says that the universe could end up running out of gas in a few gazilion years anyway so who cares whats going on today.
So thats the plan folks, find the nearest scientists and exile them all to a far off land. Then we can live in peace knowing that killer cybornetic monkeys will not be taking the earth from our children’s children. Oh and here is the article about the monkey:
Full article (in new window)
AC
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