MST3k Fans: Don’t go see doom October 24, 2005
Posted by Aaron in : General , trackbackYou’ll note that this post is aimed at mst3k fans, its because I figure that anyone who is going to see the movie Doom for any other reason to make fun of it is already a lost cause. I won’t spoil the ending or anything, but let me just say that I know it looks like it will be fun to ridicule but trust me it isn’t.
When you go to see a movie based on the classic first-person gore-fest that is the Doom franchise you expect that while there will be some changes to make the basic premise work on screen, it’ll keep the spirit of the game alive. Boy was that a wrong assumption in this case, first of all the game is exciting because when you sneak around that dark corner there is a very good chance that there will be something grotesquely evil that will attack you. The movie tries to maintain the suspense of that but since for half of the movie nothing does it gets pretty boring (yes thats right, this movie was boring because a lot of it lacks action which is hard to imagine they’d even be able to get the rights to use the name Doom if the game makers had an idea that’d happen). Sure there is blood and they run across dead bodies, but that isn’t action. So the action finally kicks in, and they are dying left and right. They have a classic hallway of zombie’s rushing them sequence and Sarge (The Rock’s character) has the BFG strapped to his back (they give it a more sciency sounding name, but its still the big freaking gun of the game). Guess what they do, they use their machine guns and get decimated (not entirely but still). Where are the gratuitous explosions and excessive force that pretty much defined the Doom gameplay in my mind (I should note that I’ve spent very little time playing doom, but have watched others play it a fair amount).
In short, I could have bought a footlong sub for what that movie cost me, and even if I didn’t enjoy the sub, you could have more fun making fun of a sub sandwhich than watching Doom. When the sequel comes out, I’m buying the sub.
Update: This is pretty accurate.
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